Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
