While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
