I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
