pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
