hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
