Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
