so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we're making bets on your personal life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
