He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
