She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
