I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
