You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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