i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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