You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
