Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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