You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
