the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
