I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
