Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My liver just broke up with me...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
