I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
