I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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