So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
