you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
