i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
