I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it's not cheating when I paid for it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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