i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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