My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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