so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
