i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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