Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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