so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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