Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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