I am in a vortex of obligation.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
