whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
