Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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