at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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