happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Randomize
