so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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