I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
