things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Terrible idea I love it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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