you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
