Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
