felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
