all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
