I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
