It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
