what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
