Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
