your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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