I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
