So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
