i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
