just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
