I wanna bring you to show and tell
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
