she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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