You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
