Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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