im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That accounts for only three of the penises
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
