my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
