Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
