i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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