I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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