Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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