in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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