Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
