she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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