I have demons in me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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