I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
