i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
