she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
